This is just a place for me to write down my thoughts about family, friends, life in general. I am starting today, because today my son was diagnosed as being mentally retarted. My beautiful, smart, funny bubby as I call him. I always knew that Dakota was different, special. I hate that he has to be labeled as anything other than "my bubby", but society does not allow that. I initially started the process of having him evaluated so that the school would have to give him the proper help he needs. Dakota is not like other kids, he is not very social and has some learning problems. He has a speech disability that we have been working on since he was 3 years old. He will be 9 on Monday and I have been fighting the school since he was in first grade to not put him in a regular classs with 24 other kids. I knew that he needed one on one help a long time ago. The school has to go through so much red tape just to test him and even then, the tests are not accurate. Under the school districts guide lines, he did not qualify for "disability" assistance. Finally last year, with our pediatrician's help, he was diagnosed as ADD and he was able to get remedial reading and writing assistance. But I felt like it wasn't enough. He still has social problems and is getting further behind academically. So our quest for the answers began about 3 months ago. Which brings us to today and finally our answer. My son is concidered mentally retarted. I have cried all day. Not for Dakota, because he is the same child he was yesterday. I cry because of the label that has been placed upon this most magnificent creature that I have lived with every single day for almost 9 years. The beautiful child that I carried for 9 (+) months. I cry because I guess that I am selfish and don't want that label for him. But, it is what it is and I should thank God for giving me the most wonderful gift in the world. And that is to even have Dakota in my life at all. When we were in the phsychiatrists office this morning, she was telling me all the things that I will have to think about later in his life and I kept thinking "What do I do today?". "Where do I start?". I can't really think about him maybe never being able to drive a car, go to college, get married. I mean, he's only 9. I know that I should plan for the future, but we are in the here and now. What do I do about that? I have a conference with the teachers and school counselors tomorrow to talk about placing him in a self contained class. I think that he will thrive in the class. He does so much better with just a few kids in a class setting and with more one on one help. I guess that's the first place to start. Then take it one day at a time.